Learning to Pray: Selflessly

Lesson 4: It's Not About Me

I had the strangest thought today as I was thinking about how to express the heart of what we taught your kids last Sunday: we taught them how to pray FOR God.

For me, praying for God is a foreign concept, even though I do it all the time with other people. In fact, I can honestly say I have never asked God, "How can I pray for you?" And yet, that is exactly what Jesus taught us when He told us to pray, "hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." He gave us God's prayer request list.

Now, of course, God doesn't NEED anything from us. But He does WANT something. More specifically, He wants US to want something. Simply put, He wants us to want what He wants.

Okay, perhaps that's not so simple. Maybe this example from my life will help clarify. One day, one of my children was out riding bikes with a couple of the neighborhood kids who really need to experience God's love personally. Our family has made it a point to show them God's love in whatever way God makes available. On this day, one of the kids didn't have a bike and wanted to borrow one. So my husband asked my other child, who was inside with me not using a bike, to loan out the unused bike. Our child refused. So the bike sat, unused, while that selfish child kept on snuggling up to me inside the house.

To be honest, I was undone. My heart was just sick. And not just because the neighborhood child went without a bike. I wasn't really concerned about that at all because I knew my husband would help the kids take turns. In fact, if I had been upset about the bike, I would have just over-ridden my child and loaned out the bike. After all, I bought it and technically it is MY BIKE.


No, it was not about the bike. It was not about the sharing, either. I was confident that in time my child would learn to share more easily. In fact, if it had been about sharing, I may have encouraged my child to share the bike. But it wasn't just that my child wouldn't share the bike. 


What really undid me was WHO my child wouldn't share with. My child had missed the fact that these kids were in the middle of a terrible family crisis, missed how desperately they needed to experience the love of the Father, missed that our family was greatly blessed and therefore willing to make sacrifices to show love to them. It was obvious that my child had not understood AT ALL what our family had been all about for the past few months.


It was a very sad and lonely feeling. And I think sometimes God feels the same way about His kids.


I think that may be part of why Jesus taught us to pray, "hallowed be your name." A more fleshed out version of this idea is found in your child's memory verse for this week, "Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!" (Psalm 115:1)


People only see God's love and faithfulness when His children allow God's name, not ours, to be of highest importance. Jesus knows that when we are busy putting ourselves first, we cannot see the people all around us who our Father so desperately wants to reach with His love. We forget the sacrifices that the family of God has made to bring it to them, from the prophets to the apostles to the people who first brought it to us. We forget that it is not right to just want to snuggle up to our daddy inside the family house, ignoring the needs of others.


After a week of planning with the pastoral team, I want to encourage you that our church leadership is truly dedicated to asking God how Creekside can be a part of the answer to His prayer requests:

• hallowed by YOUR name,
• YOUR kingdom come,
• YOUR will be done.

And all God's children said, "Amen!"

Learning to Pray: Teachably

LESSON 3: FATHER KNOWS BEST

You know, when I was teaching last week I thought, "This may be one of the most important lessons of the summer for these kids." Little did I know, my Heavenly Father was thinking the same of me. And, boy, was I surprised how much faith it took to practice what I preached!

You see, our lesson was on God' right to answer our prayers in the way that pleases Him, not us. In fact, your child's memory verse for the week is from Psalm 115:3, "Our God is in Heaven; He does whatever pleases Him." A scary thought until we remember that what pleases Him is to work all things together for good for those who love Him! 

And yet, sometimes we think something is good when it isn't. And when we get a "no," we say that God did not answer our prayer. Now, every parent reading this knows that "No" is a very clear AND LOVING answer to a whole host of requests. So is "wait," or, "I have something better in mind." (Every kid with very young siblings agreed that these little ones do not know what's best for them and need someone to tell them "no" and "wait" every now and then!)

After all, only God has both the power and the wisdom to answer our requests in a way that is best for us, and He always answers with YES, NO, or WAIT. So really, when it comes to prayer, we are not telling God what we need but instead asking Him if what we want is good for us.

Honestly, that was a new perspective for me. Generally, I have ideas in my head about what would be best for me, and I come to God in prayer to list them out, explain why they are good, and ask Him to "make it so." I'm more of a salesperson than a trusting daughter. And yet, intellectually that method of prayer never really made any sense to me because I knew God already knows what I need and will do His will. But I had never been taught another way to approach the whole deal. Then it hit me–right in the middle of teaching my lesson–what if we came to God not with requests but with a question: Father, is this good for me?

After all, if I really believe that my Heavenly Father knows what is best for me and is always working everything together for my good, then prayer is my opportunity to find out what HE thinks. Then, any answer I get is a delight to my soul because it reaffirms His love for me and tells me how to live in a way that is best for me, a way I most certainly would not have figured out on my own!

Sounded good on Sunday. Less so on Tuesday when I found out I would have to wait even longer than expected to know the answer to one of my "which way is best" questions. Instead of experiencing a fount of faith, hope and love, I wrestled with confusion, doubt and fear. Truly, it took a lot more prayer than I expected to get on the other side of those emotions. I had to rehearse in my mind and heart and out loud to my Father all that I had taught on Sunday: You know what is best, You love me, You are wiser than I am, You are not surprised by anything, You have the right to do things your way in your time even though it is hard for me to wait. I repent of clinging to my way and what I think is best. Help me wait well. Help me to see what You see so the waiting will be easier. I believe, help my unbelief.

I'm happy to report, God answered with a Yes! Yes, I will help you wait well. Yes, I will give you a reminder of my love to help you overcome your fear. Yes, I will give you the gift of faith to help you overcome your unbelief.

You know, I told the kids Sunday, when we don't trust God, we will most certainly disobey Him. And I nearly did. I had every opportunity, and still do, to take matters into my own hands, to manipulate the situation to go my way, or to at least throw a fit over how unfair it was that I was not getting my way. But instead, I have chosen and will continue to choose to trust that my Father does, in truth, know best.

But can I point something out? It was hard. For me. A pastor. A teacher. After decades of studying the Bible. Consider how much harder it is for our children. I will tell you, my unfortunate husband had to be with me while I was processing all the negative emotions I was experiencing in the face of this difficult situation. He wisely saw that I was not seeing the whole picture and tried to help me see things from another person's point of view. You may not be surprised to learn that this did not go well, even though he was right. He saw this right away and apologized, not for being right but for not thinking through the timing better. Ironically, as much as this annoys me, I do it all the time, especially with my kids. When they are already feeling bad, I make it worse by pointing out what is wrong with them and their response.

Why doesn't that approach ever help? Because deep down, our problem is not with a situation, or another person. Our problem is with God. Bottom line, I was not trusting Him. To be clear, pointing that out would not have gone well, either. What may have helped, and what I am committed to trying with my children when I am tempted to point out their immaturity, is listening and understanding and then offering to pray. 

When we are struggling, we need to hear things like, "I see how hurt you are. I see that scares you. Can I pray for you? There isn't anything I can do about all this, but your Heavenly Father loves you even more than I do. Even better, He is powerful and wants to help you feel His love even during difficult times like this." And when I pray, I might even start out like this, "Our Father, who is in Heaven." What truly comforting words.