Gardening in Your Child's Heart

FOR PARENTS TO PONDER: IF MY CHILD'S HEART WERE A GARDEN, WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE?

Wouldn't it be cool if we could literally see what was growing in our kids' hearts, complete with those little plastic tags that tell you what kind of plant it is and what you should do to help it grow? After all, all those little green plant tops look pretty much the same before they're ready to produce fruit.

More and more God has been using this analogy to teach me about how He works in the hearts of people. And yet, I don't know much about gardening, so some of the metaphor is lost on me. (Parenting tip we can learn from God: when talking to a person of lesser understanding, expect to repeat yourself often.)

Still, as I apply myself to understanding, He is teaching me rich truth:

• God is the gardener. He provides the seed (Truth); He alone knows perfectly a weed from a plant (Judgment); He alone knows what to prune, what to cut off, and what to keep (Discipline).
• Jesus is the vine. Nothing detached from the vine is alive (Salvation); anything connected to the vine will live (Sanctification).
• Jesus is the firstfruit. His fruit is sweetest, biggest, best (Supremacy); his fruit alone is an appropriate offering to God (Justification).
• God's Spirit causes growth. Wherever the Spirit flows freely, fruit forms (Righteousness); any blockage cuts off growth must be removed (Repentance).

All of the above are helping me to remember my role in cultivating Life in the heart of my children: I am merely a hired-hand and should not set myself up as the Gardener. I do not have perfect judgement of their motives; my will for their lives is not best; trusting me will not bring them Life. Only to the extent that I  labor humbly and point my children's hearts toward the fullness of God as He has revealed Himself in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit am I of any value to their hearts at all.

And yet, that word "heart" is a tricky one! I often wonder why on earth would anyone tell young kids to ask Jesus into their hearts?! Kids are so literal! They hear that and quickly start wondering if He will fit, how He will get in, if it will hurt, what He will do while He is there.

And yet, God's word clearly teaches that Jesus lives in those who put their faith in Him. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

Beyond that, Scripture makes it clear that when Jesus does live in us through faith, He does so in our hearts. "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith." (Ephesians 3:16-17a)

Of course, it is equally clear that it is NOT Jesus' physical body that lives in a believer's physical heart. This may seem obvious to us, but remember that many five-year-olds still believe in the physical reality of the tooth fairy, Santa Claus and leprechauns. Now, whatever we do with these childhood traditions, we must be careful to teach the truth about Jesus: "Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” (Galatians 4:6) 

So, how do we teach this essential truth to a child who can be easily confused by our language?

We must define our terms, FIRST. We must explain what we do, and do not, mean. We must intentionally teach what we know intuitively. Simple, right? No. Teaching our children to examine their hearts in a way they can understand is not simple. It is hard. Very hard! But no other skill is more vital. "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." (Proverbs 4:23)

And though many of us long to see Christ dwell in the hearts of our children, the primary focus of our parenting is often just as physical as our children's understanding of the word "heart." From healthy eating habits, to sanitary bathroom habits, to diligent sun protection, to well-organized toy storage, to good study habits, to well-rounded exposure to extracurricular activities--we obsess over the physical well being of our children, as though the very course of their lives depended on it.

Jesus encourages us to keep those things in their proper place: secondary.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ... Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ... For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:19-20; 25; 32-33)

Again, this is not easy. Everything on your to do list this week threatens to prevent you from taking time to work in the garden of your child's heart. So let's take a moment to pray for each other that God would guard OUR hearts from the worry and busyness that threaten to distract us from our heart's true desire: to see the Spirit of Jesus alive and at work in our children.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

Our Lesson: God Sends Help, p326

Pentecost, from Acts 1-5; John 14-15

Truth about God: God's Spirit has the power to change a heart.

Take Home Verse: Ephesians 3:16-17 (New Life Translation)

“I pray that because of the riches of His shining-greatness, [God] will make you strong with power in your hearts through the Holy Spirit. I pray that Christ may live in your hearts by faith. I pray that you will be filled with love.”

Belief Builder: When we believe the truth about Jesus, He will live in our hearts.

Talking Points: Matters of the Heart

Spiritual v. Physical Hearts
The best way to master anything is to teach it to someone else. Give your child the opportunity to teach you what they know about the difference between the physical heart and the spiritual heart. Offer to re-read the story "God Sends Help"; it uses the word heart over and over. Stop as you read and ask them to explain what the spiritual heart does. (It’s the real you; the you on the inside: your feelings, thoughts, ideas, decisions; it was made to love God; it’s the part of Adam and Eve that died when they believed the terrible lie; it's the part of us that must believe that Jesus came to give us life in our hearts again.) This is also a perfect opportunity to say, "Let's see what the REAL Bible says about the heart." (See the list at the bottom of this post for the verses we used in class.)

Separation Anxiety
Even older kids have a hard time separating from someone or something they really like. If you observe this in your child, make a mental note to bring it up later. Use it as an opportunity to talk about how Jesus's friends felt when Jesus went back to Heaven. Offer to read what Jesus said to them from the REAL Bible (John 16:5-7): "Now I am going to the One who sent me. But none of you asks me, 'Where are you going?' Because I have said these things, you are filled with sadness. But what I'm about to tell you is true. It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Friend will not come to help you. But if I go, I will send him to you." Ask if they can tell you who the Friend (NIV: counselor) is? What happened when He came to Jesus' friends.

(Not sure? Offer to re-read the story "God Sends Help" in their books.)

• What was the gift that Jesus sent to His friends? (the Holy Spirit)
• What happened to the hearts of Jesus’ friends when the Holy Spirit came to them? (Jesus was WITH them)
• What happened to their fear? (Gone!) What did they feel instead? (Love!)
• What do you think God meant when He said Jesus would live in our hearts? In our physical heart?
• Does Jesus live in everyone’s heart? (No.) Whose heart DOES Jesus live in? (Only the people who believe.)

Read this week's Take Home Verse: Ephesians 3:16--17

• What does the Bible say happens to our hearts when we trust (have faith) in Jesus? 
• God’s Spirit will make it strong. 
• Jesus will live in it and fill us with His love. 
• He will be with us wherever we go!

What God's Word says about the heart:

• I know that you (God) want truth to be in my heart. (Psalm 51:6 )
• So keep my words in your hearts and minds. (Deuteronomy 11:18)
• You must not doubt in your heart. You must believe... (Mark 11:23)
• The Lord looks deep down inside every heart. He understands the real reasons for everything you think. (1 Chronicles 28:9)
• Evil thoughts come out of the heart. ... And so do stealing, false witness, and telling lies about others. (Matthew 15:19)
• Brothers and sisters, make sure that none of you has a sinful heart. Do not let an unbelieving heart turn you away from the living God. (Hebrews 3:12)
• But you are stubborn. In your heart you are not sorry for your sins. (Romans 2:5)
• So give me a heart that understands. Then ... I can tell the difference between what is right and what is wrong. (1 Kings 3:9)
• You will find [God] if you look for [God] with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
• Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Love him with all your strength. (Deuteronomy 6:5)
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5)
• With all their hearts they wanted to worship the Lord. (2 Chronicles 11:16)
• So let us come near to God with an honest and true heart. Let us come near with a faith that is sure and strong. (Hebrews 10:22)
• So give freely to those who are needy. Open your hearts to them. (Deuteronomy 15:10)
• Work at everything you do with all your heart. Work as if you were working for the Lord, not for human masters. (Colossians 3:23)
• Speak to each other with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:19)