Talking to kids about the Gospel

Preparing children to follow Jesus

Parents who truly know what it is to follow Jesus want nothing more than to see their children do the same! And if we could get them to avoid some heartache by learning from our mistakes, that would sweeten the deal. But somehow, all these heartfelt longings do not make it any easier to know how to express the great hope of the Gospel in a way the hearts of our children can grasp.

So what to do? In a word: persist.

No one comes to believe overnight. Instead, we must understand that belief happens much like a child’s growth: in spurts and stages. It is essential that we not make comparisons or assumptions about the future based on where our child is at any given stage. And we must keep looking for creative ways to get the truth across:

“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:4-6

Repetition, repetition, repetition

Nothing about our spiritual growth is linear. Quite the opposite, it is more like a coil that comes round and round the same point, over and over ever expanding as it does.

And that central point is the Gospel. Those foundational concepts lead us not only to our first moment of repentance and faith, but also to every future step of faith! So whether our children are believers or not, they need to hear the Gospel again and again.

And that’s a relief, because it is not always clear whether our children truly believe! We must trust God to lead us in the unclear areas of when to affirm their salvation, when to invite them to be baptized and take communion, when to challenge them to walk in the Spirit. But as we become fluent in the language of the Gospel, we will find ourselves about to talk about it just as the Lord says: in the everyday happenings of life.

Keep it a dialogue!

Educational research tells us that the process of trying to explain an idea to someone helps us understand it better ourselves. So, keep your kids talking and keep this in mind as you do: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” James 1:19-20

Our hearts are so wrapped up in our desire to see our children love and enjoy Jesus the way we do (or better!) that we can become defensive, critical or even angry when a child expresses their unbelief. But truth is planted, not forced, into a heart. Look for tender moments when you can plant the truth in love; ask God to make it grow!

[Jesus] also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.” Mark 4:26-29

Take your time

Avoid giving children of any age a false sense of salvation. Just like physical growth, not everyone grows at the same rate in the same areas. Don’t feel the pressure to rush into a Salvation Prayer. Be careful to distinguish between God’s love and His forgiveness. God’s love is for everyone; His forgiveness is only for those who repent and trust that Jesus’ death paid for their sins. While children feel bad when they sin, it takes time to grasp the concept of trusting in Jesus’ death as a substitute for theirs, let alone have enough sense of time to commit their future lives to Jesus. Of course, if a child ASKS how to be forgiven, TELL THEM. But let the child initiate!

Know your child

It is important to keep your child’s individual development in mind when talking to them about their faith. Know this: every human is born looking for something to put their faith in. As we grow, we try various things: our parents, our teachers, ourselves, our friends, money, status, the list goes on. Our desire as parents is to give our children the truth so they many put their faith in God, who alone is Good. Only God can satisfy the deep longings of their souls. Everything else will fail them. Both before and after a child is saved, a parent’s job is encourage faith in God and to encourage our child turn away from inferior things. We can only do this if we show compassion to our children when something fails them, so they will know we truly care as we remind them that God never fails!

Of course, there are general developmental phases we all go through that affect how we internalize spiritual truth. Very rarely does a person deeply understand a spiritual truth that is beyond their developmental reality. For example, the idea that to God a day is like a thousand years is meaningless to a child who has no concept of time.

Know the basics

Below you will find Salvation Concepts that are both child-friendly and accurate. (Often, in an effort to make a truth simple we can miss the mark of truth.) After that, you will also find some tips to help you teach your children with their developmental stage in mind. Like physical growth, there are ALWAYS exceptions! Trust (and ask!) the Spirit to lead you as you lead your children.

The following Salvation Concepts are foundational. Some can be grasped at very young ages, others require more advanced thinking (cause and effect, time, spatial reasoning, logic). Review these life-giving verses with them; consider memorizing them! Most of these concepts can be grasped by the middle of the elementary years, but none is believed fully in this lifetime. Talk to them whenever YOU have a deeper understanding of one of these truths. Pray earnestly that one day your child will express, in their own way, these concepts to God in a prayer for salvation. Find regular intervals to check in with your child about what they understand and believe so far (sample questions provided after each Scripture reference).

• God, I believe you love me and made me so I could love You, too. (Genesis 1-2; Deuteronomy 6:5) Who made the world? Who made you?

• I have let other things be more important than You and Your Words. (Exodus 20:1-17; Matthew 22:37-39) Who is in charge of everything? Do you always care about God and what He wants? 

• Because I am a sinner, I deserve death and need forgiveness. (Genesis 3, 1 John 1:8-10, Romans 3:23) How many people live the way God wants them to? What do you think God will do about all the people who don’t want to do things His way? Who should be punished? Is it fair that we are punished? Why? Who deserves to go to heaven?
• I believe that Your Son Jesus is the only One who can reconnect me with You. (Acts 4:12, John 14:6) Who did God send into the world? Why?
• I fully trust that You will accept Jesus’s death on the cross as payment for my sin and will keep Your promise to give me eternal life in Heaven. Jesus, please save me from my sin. (Colossians 1:19-23; John 3:16) Did Jesus always care about God? Did Jesus deserve to be punished? How was Jesus like us? How was He different? What bad thing happened to Jesus? Why would Jesus die for us? Is Jesus dead or alive now?
• I want to give up doing things my way and instead live Your way.  (Romans 6:5-14, Galatians 5:16-17) What happens if we live our way? What happens if we live God’s way?
• I trust You to keep your promise to put your Holy Spirit inside my heart. I believe He will make me clean and new on the inside so that I can hear and obey Him as He teaches me how to live the way Jesus did. (Romans 7, Ephesians 3:16-19; Phil 2:5-11) How do we start living God’s way? What do we do when we blow it?
• I believe that one day, after I die, Your Spirit will bring me to live with You in Heaven, where I will be made perfect. I will never want to sin again, and there will be no more sadness, pain or death. (Rev. 21:1-5) Where is Jesus now? What will he do when He comes back again? When will always care about God? When will everything be good again?

Tips for Toddlers & Preschoolers/ Key Concept: God made us; He love us!

As children begin to understand their parents’ love, they can begin to grasp God’s love. This is also a perfect time to tell them that God made them and everything else in the world they are discovering. (See Salvation Concept 1.)

Tips for Kindergarteners / Key Concept: When we don't believe God, we sin.

Kindergarteners have a growing understanding of justice, right, wrong and punishment, so it is a good time to teach them what happens when we don’t believe God–we sin. Help them to also understand that God hates sin because it hurts the people He made and loves. Worse, God has to punish people who sin, when all He really wants to do is love them. That is why God gave us Jesus to take away the world’s sin. (Salvation Concepts 1-4.)

Elementary/ Key Concept: We must believe that Jesus died to pay for OUR sin. 

These are key years for salvation in children, as they begin to believe the rather scary idea that they themselves are sinners in need of a Savior. At this age, they can more readily understand the idea of substitution as well as making a lifelong commitment. And yet, school and community activities often crowd out time to learn about God. Consider using communion as a reminder to talk to your children intentionally about the fundamentals of faith.

• Read and discuss a passage of scripture that will help them grow in their understanding of why sin leads to death. (Genesis 2:16 & 3:1-8; Romans 5:12, Romans 1:18-20, 29-32; Salvation Concept 3) 
• Read and discuss a passage of scripture that will help them grown in their understanding that eternal life is only for people who agree with God that we are sinners and need Jesus to forgive us. (Romans 3:23-26, John 3:16-18, Romans 6:20-23; Salvation Concept 3)
• Talk to your child about what he or she believes about his or her own sin. (This is best done one-on-one.) Be prepared to lead your child through a prayer of salvation; if you aren’t sure how, make an appointment with the Children’s Pastor. (If your child does pray with you, consider making an appointment with the Children’s Pastor, who can talk with you about introducing your child to communion and baptism.)
• Probe lovingly into what they believe about the way they live; challenge them gently as the Spirit leads. Re-focus them on how the death of Jesus gives us life and power in the Spirit, not just to be saved but also to obey. (See Salvation Concepts 6-8.)

Believing Children/ Key Concept: Jesus wants us to examine our hearts 

When explaining salvation (to children especially) we often describe it as one-time decision to ask for forgiveness. Really, it is a lifelong commitment to love and obey Jesus as our Lord, every day until He comes back! This is only possible if we are constantly growing in our understanding of what it means to follow Him. We must teach believing children how to examine their hearts in light of Salvation. Make it a point to regularly ask about their day-to-day relationship with Jesus as Savior and Lord. (You may also consider making an appointment with the Children’s Pastor to talk about introducing your child to baptism and communion.)

Remind your child that believers can know if they are living God’s way by comparing themselves to the Bible.

• Read a passage that will help your child grow in their understanding of God’s way of life. (Ephesians 4, Romans 6, Romans 12, Colossians 3)
• Discuss how God’s way, as described in that passage, is different from what we tend to do.
• Discuss why God’s rules are really for our good. Why makes it hard to obey? What don’t we believe?
• Share what is hard for you and how glad you are that Jesus forgives us when we repent. (1 John 1:8-9)
• Express your joy that one day all this struggle will finally be over when we are made perfect in Heaven.
• Give your child a chance to do the same.