Learning to Pray: Confidently

Lesson 2: Who's Your Daddy?

Time and again I have marveled at the way God's Truth seems to stand on a knife's edge between two competing ideas: justice and grace, sovereignty and free will, law and Spirit. In much the same way, our first two lessons on prayer create some tension as Jesus teaches us to pray both with humility and confidence.

To bring these ideas to life, we talked about some very special kids. I have to say I had so much fun watching your kids' faces when I told them that there were once some very special kids who got to turn a super-fancy room in the White House into a roller rink AND take their pony onto a White House elevator. Of course, a few of them figured it out: it was the president's kids! (Theodore Roosevelt's, in case you were wondering.)

From there, everyone understood that if being the child of a president is a big deal, being a child of God is an even bigger deal. Yet not everyone understood how to become a child of God. And while I made every effort to make that clear, I encourage you to review the ideas below with your children. Even as you do, you will see that humility before God always comes BEFORE our ability to have confidence in His presence!

ADMIT: We all sin, or rebelliously do things our way instead of God's way.

This desire to be our own god results in God's righteous anger and just punishment. We are cut off from His love and goodness and protection and wisdom and beauty and everything else that He created us to enjoy.

• "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." I John 1:8 
• "As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath." Ephesians 2:1-3

BELIEVE: God loves us and gave us Jesus to pay for our sin.

Truly, God takes no joy in our punishment. In fact, it breaks His heart to be separated from us, those He created to be His children. For that reason, He sentenced His own Son to die in our place.

• "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!"     Romans 5:6-9

CONFESS: We must tell God that we believe that Jesus' death and resurrection will save us from our sin.

• "If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, 'Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.'"  Romans 10:9-11

This confession ALONE gives us the right to become children of God.

• "But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, 'Abba, Father.' So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir." Galatians 4:4-6
• "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God," John 1:12

And, oh, what a wonderful set of privileges come with that new relationship--the best of which is the Holy Spirit living in our hearts, giving us the opportunity to talk to our wonderful, heavenly Father whenever we wish, no appointment necessary! May we pray with great joy, confident that God is, in fact, Our Father!

Prayer in Practice: Week 1

Prayer, like anything, is best learned through practice. So I encourage you to pray intentionally with your kids this summer. Go beyond "thank you for this food" and "thank you for this day"! Open the Bible with your children and learn from its many examples of humble yet confident prayer! 

Our church's summer reading plan is designed to complement our series on prayer. (You will find it listed in the bulletin each week, and on the "read" page of our church website.) These passages are meant for both kids and adults, so some may be hard to explain to children. Below are tips on what to focus on with kids. 

Psalm 5 / Talking to God about people who hurt us

Focus: We can trust God to protect us.

Application: Children will take great comfort in knowing that God is just. Their need for justice is often expressed by their "tattle-tale" behavior. Parents might be surprised to learn that God invites them (and us!) to tattle... but only to him. He is willing to patiently listen while they tell him of their pain and fear and anger. Knowing this helps us not to take matters into our own hands. (See also Romans 12:14-21.)

• Potential Challenge: Does God "hate all who do wrong" as it says in verse 5? Yes and no. God loves everyone and has made a way for all to repent and be forgiven; but for those who do not repent, his anger remains on them. (See John 3:16 v. 3:36) Also, Psalm 5 was written before Jesus came. Jesus changed the way we pray about our enemies. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. (Matt 5:43-45)

Psalm 63:1-8 / Telling God how much we need him

Focus: It is good to tell God that we remember how he helped us.

Application: This is a great bedtime prayer. Go through the day with your child and help them list the ways God has helped them. What might they need help with tomorrow? Focus on attitudes rather than circumstances. (Example: God help me forgive someone who was mean to me. Not: God please fix that person who was mean to me.)

1 Kings 8:22-30, Mark 11:15-17 / Praying in God's house

Focus: God wants us to come to church eager to pray.

Application: God cannot be contained in a building, but he has always had a special place for his people to come together to pray. Does it surprise them that God has promised to listen to our prayers? Does it surprise them that Jesus got angry when people came together to make money instead of pray? We don't come together on Sunday to make money, but we may still have the wrong attitude. What are some reasons we go to church that have nothing to do with a desire to pray and worship with our church family? (Play, eat snack, just have fun, talk to our friends.) It is easy even for good things to make us forget our real reason for coming together. What does it mean to pray "for all nations?" What nation have they prayed for at church? (America, Bangladesh, Mexico) Pray with your kids for those nations at home, too. 

2 Kings 19:8-19, 32-36 / We pray to a real and powerful God

Focus: Our God is alive, real and powerful.

Application: Talk with your child what might happen if they decided to pray to one of their toys instead of God. Would the toy listen? Answer? Have the power to do anything? What if they decided to pray to a person? Say, their favorite teacher? Could that person hear them? Would that person have the power to help them? Talk about why it is important to pray only to God: he alone really has the power to help us. When made-up gods fail, the one true God does not! Consider purchasing "You are God Alone" from iTunes or get the mp3 from Amazon. It is our main summer worship song, and you may want to sing it together.

• Potential Challenge: There is only one true God; He alone answers prayer. This is a terrifically unpopular statement, and it can be dangerous in the hands of a boastful child (or adult!). Talk to your child about this truth with compassion for those who have not yet understood who God really is. Yes, God wiped out the Assyrians because they did not believe in him, but he was not happy about it. God wants everyone to know him, and that's why he has us still living on earth instead of with him in heaven! "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9

Jeremiah 32:6-41 / We pray to a God who changes hearts

Focus: Even if we turn away from God, he will find a way to bring us back to him.

Application: Okay, this is not a bedtime story. It is confusing and scary, so study carefully if you present this to your kids. Otherwise, you may want to just read verses 36-41. Explain that a long time ago, God's people stopped loving him and began to do terrible things. God could not allow them to keep being so evil, so he allowed another country to win a war against them. He allowed his people to be taken from their homes so they would stop their terrible sin. But he also gave them a promise: one day he would bring them back and change their hearts. And he did! God still changes hearts today. Do you know people who do the wrong thing? Pray for them; God can change their hearts. And when you keep doing the wrong thing and feel you can't stop, pray and ask God to help you. He can change your heart, too!

Nehemiah 1, 2:1-8 / We pray to a God who influences leaders

Focus: Even though we are not powerful, we pray to a God who is!

Application: What a great story this is for kids! They are utterly powerless and at the mercy of those in authority around the clock. But their God is not! What a comfort it is to them to know that when they pray, God can even influence those who are in charge. Knowing this empowers them to be respectful and obedient, and yet courageous as they share their hearts with adults. Remind your child to pray for you, for their teachers, for their country's leaders. And yet, Nehemiah did not ask for selfish things. Help the talk about the kinds of things that they think God would want to see in their leaders and in you, their parents. Listen humbly, our children sometimes see who we really are better than we do.

Learning to Pray: Humbly

Lesson 1: Know your place

Let's face it, as kids grow in their indepence, they often forget their place. How many of us have stood with mouth agape at the audacity of our own offspring? Indignation wells up in us, inspiring such thoughts as, "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it." Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we hopefully refrain from speaking such truths out loud until they are free of our ego and tempered by love!

No doubt, God often experiences the same feelings toward His children as we come to Him (or don't!) in prayer. Consider the following passages from Isaiah:

Hear me, you heavens! Listen, earth! 
    For the Lord has spoken: 
“I reared children and brought them up,
    but they have rebelled against me.
The ox knows its master,
    the donkey its owner’s manger, 
but Israel does not know, 
    my people do not understand. ” (1:2-3)
...

When you spread out your hands in prayer,
    I hide my eyes from you;
even when you offer many prayers,
    I am not listening. (1:15)

And yet, what grace it is that this almighty, all-powerful and righteous God longs to be near us and invites us to come humbly before Him, confident of His love!

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
    therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. 
For the Lord is a God of justice. 
    Blessed are all who wait for him!
People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. 
How gracious he will be when you cry for help! 
As soon as he hears, he will answer you. (30:18-19)


This summer, our church will be learning how to draw close to God in prayer, primarily through the pattern Jesus gave us in the Lord's Prayer (see Matt. 6:9-13). But before Jesus taught His disciples WHAT to say, He first taught them HOW to say it: in a word, humbly (see Matt. 6:5-8). To illuminate this idea of humility, we looked at (and acted out) a story Jesus told of two men with very different attitudes in prayer: one arrogant and self-righteous, the other humble and repentant (see Luke 18:9-14). We talked (and sang) about the importance of knowing that God is THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, not a vending machine. We pray so that He can change us and help us to do His will, not so that we can get Him to do our will. We will be returning to this idea all summer as we seek to SYNC UP our hearts with God's! (Ask you kids how they are like an iPhone.)

You know, we never know what is getting through when we teach, and we trust that God's Spirit, not us, will change kids' hearts. So I was stuck this week when a few kids spontaneously chose to kneel as I prayed to close our lesson. Truly, I believe that came from a desire to express their humility and not from a desire to appear holy before their peers. Please pray with me that God will continue to shape the hearts of our children (and us!) into those who know our place and yet pray eagerly, trusting fully in the love of our powerful Heavenly Father.

Gardening in Your Child's Heart

FOR PARENTS TO PONDER: IF MY CHILD'S HEART WERE A GARDEN, WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE?

Wouldn't it be cool if we could literally see what was growing in our kids' hearts, complete with those little plastic tags that tell you what kind of plant it is and what you should do to help it grow? After all, all those little green plant tops look pretty much the same before they're ready to produce fruit.

More and more God has been using this analogy to teach me about how He works in the hearts of people. And yet, I don't know much about gardening, so some of the metaphor is lost on me. (Parenting tip we can learn from God: when talking to a person of lesser understanding, expect to repeat yourself often.)

Still, as I apply myself to understanding, He is teaching me rich truth:

• God is the gardener. He provides the seed (Truth); He alone knows perfectly a weed from a plant (Judgment); He alone knows what to prune, what to cut off, and what to keep (Discipline).
• Jesus is the vine. Nothing detached from the vine is alive (Salvation); anything connected to the vine will live (Sanctification).
• Jesus is the firstfruit. His fruit is sweetest, biggest, best (Supremacy); his fruit alone is an appropriate offering to God (Justification).
• God's Spirit causes growth. Wherever the Spirit flows freely, fruit forms (Righteousness); any blockage cuts off growth must be removed (Repentance).

All of the above are helping me to remember my role in cultivating Life in the heart of my children: I am merely a hired-hand and should not set myself up as the Gardener. I do not have perfect judgement of their motives; my will for their lives is not best; trusting me will not bring them Life. Only to the extent that I  labor humbly and point my children's hearts toward the fullness of God as He has revealed Himself in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit am I of any value to their hearts at all.

And yet, that word "heart" is a tricky one! I often wonder why on earth would anyone tell young kids to ask Jesus into their hearts?! Kids are so literal! They hear that and quickly start wondering if He will fit, how He will get in, if it will hurt, what He will do while He is there.

And yet, God's word clearly teaches that Jesus lives in those who put their faith in Him. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

Beyond that, Scripture makes it clear that when Jesus does live in us through faith, He does so in our hearts. "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith." (Ephesians 3:16-17a)

Of course, it is equally clear that it is NOT Jesus' physical body that lives in a believer's physical heart. This may seem obvious to us, but remember that many five-year-olds still believe in the physical reality of the tooth fairy, Santa Claus and leprechauns. Now, whatever we do with these childhood traditions, we must be careful to teach the truth about Jesus: "Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” (Galatians 4:6) 

So, how do we teach this essential truth to a child who can be easily confused by our language?

We must define our terms, FIRST. We must explain what we do, and do not, mean. We must intentionally teach what we know intuitively. Simple, right? No. Teaching our children to examine their hearts in a way they can understand is not simple. It is hard. Very hard! But no other skill is more vital. "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." (Proverbs 4:23)

And though many of us long to see Christ dwell in the hearts of our children, the primary focus of our parenting is often just as physical as our children's understanding of the word "heart." From healthy eating habits, to sanitary bathroom habits, to diligent sun protection, to well-organized toy storage, to good study habits, to well-rounded exposure to extracurricular activities--we obsess over the physical well being of our children, as though the very course of their lives depended on it.

Jesus encourages us to keep those things in their proper place: secondary.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ... Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ... For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:19-20; 25; 32-33)

Again, this is not easy. Everything on your to do list this week threatens to prevent you from taking time to work in the garden of your child's heart. So let's take a moment to pray for each other that God would guard OUR hearts from the worry and busyness that threaten to distract us from our heart's true desire: to see the Spirit of Jesus alive and at work in our children.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

Our Lesson: God Sends Help, p326

Pentecost, from Acts 1-5; John 14-15

Truth about God: God's Spirit has the power to change a heart.

Take Home Verse: Ephesians 3:16-17 (New Life Translation)

“I pray that because of the riches of His shining-greatness, [God] will make you strong with power in your hearts through the Holy Spirit. I pray that Christ may live in your hearts by faith. I pray that you will be filled with love.”

Belief Builder: When we believe the truth about Jesus, He will live in our hearts.

Talking Points: Matters of the Heart

Spiritual v. Physical Hearts
The best way to master anything is to teach it to someone else. Give your child the opportunity to teach you what they know about the difference between the physical heart and the spiritual heart. Offer to re-read the story "God Sends Help"; it uses the word heart over and over. Stop as you read and ask them to explain what the spiritual heart does. (It’s the real you; the you on the inside: your feelings, thoughts, ideas, decisions; it was made to love God; it’s the part of Adam and Eve that died when they believed the terrible lie; it's the part of us that must believe that Jesus came to give us life in our hearts again.) This is also a perfect opportunity to say, "Let's see what the REAL Bible says about the heart." (See the list at the bottom of this post for the verses we used in class.)

Separation Anxiety
Even older kids have a hard time separating from someone or something they really like. If you observe this in your child, make a mental note to bring it up later. Use it as an opportunity to talk about how Jesus's friends felt when Jesus went back to Heaven. Offer to read what Jesus said to them from the REAL Bible (John 16:5-7): "Now I am going to the One who sent me. But none of you asks me, 'Where are you going?' Because I have said these things, you are filled with sadness. But what I'm about to tell you is true. It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Friend will not come to help you. But if I go, I will send him to you." Ask if they can tell you who the Friend (NIV: counselor) is? What happened when He came to Jesus' friends.

(Not sure? Offer to re-read the story "God Sends Help" in their books.)

• What was the gift that Jesus sent to His friends? (the Holy Spirit)
• What happened to the hearts of Jesus’ friends when the Holy Spirit came to them? (Jesus was WITH them)
• What happened to their fear? (Gone!) What did they feel instead? (Love!)
• What do you think God meant when He said Jesus would live in our hearts? In our physical heart?
• Does Jesus live in everyone’s heart? (No.) Whose heart DOES Jesus live in? (Only the people who believe.)

Read this week's Take Home Verse: Ephesians 3:16--17

• What does the Bible say happens to our hearts when we trust (have faith) in Jesus? 
• God’s Spirit will make it strong. 
• Jesus will live in it and fill us with His love. 
• He will be with us wherever we go!

What God's Word says about the heart:

• I know that you (God) want truth to be in my heart. (Psalm 51:6 )
• So keep my words in your hearts and minds. (Deuteronomy 11:18)
• You must not doubt in your heart. You must believe... (Mark 11:23)
• The Lord looks deep down inside every heart. He understands the real reasons for everything you think. (1 Chronicles 28:9)
• Evil thoughts come out of the heart. ... And so do stealing, false witness, and telling lies about others. (Matthew 15:19)
• Brothers and sisters, make sure that none of you has a sinful heart. Do not let an unbelieving heart turn you away from the living God. (Hebrews 3:12)
• But you are stubborn. In your heart you are not sorry for your sins. (Romans 2:5)
• So give me a heart that understands. Then ... I can tell the difference between what is right and what is wrong. (1 Kings 3:9)
• You will find [God] if you look for [God] with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29)
• Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Love him with all your strength. (Deuteronomy 6:5)
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5)
• With all their hearts they wanted to worship the Lord. (2 Chronicles 11:16)
• So let us come near to God with an honest and true heart. Let us come near with a faith that is sure and strong. (Hebrews 10:22)
• So give freely to those who are needy. Open your hearts to them. (Deuteronomy 15:10)
• Work at everything you do with all your heart. Work as if you were working for the Lord, not for human masters. (Colossians 3:23)
• Speak to each other with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:19)

Offering a Secure Hope

For Parents to Ponder: Can we be perfectly sure our children's hearts truly believe?

In a word, no. Only God’s judgment if perfect and sure.

“My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.” (1 Corinthians 4:4-5)

In fact, as Pastor Ryan explained in his message “Remain,” God allows a bit of tension to exist between two key ideas: 1) We can trust fully in God’s promise that salvation comes through faith alone. 2) True faith always leads to righteous living. This tension is for our good. When we see that our lives do not match what we say we believe, it should prompt us to search our hearts.

After all, Jesus Himself warns us, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” (Matt 7:21) The will of God is clear: “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 2:38)

For that reason, it is crucial that we not lead children to assume that they are saved or have the Spirit before they actually repent and believe. At the same time, when children do believe, it is important that they know the many promises God makes to those who believe. It is even more important that they continue to practice trusting God to keep those promises!

So, again, how do we know if our child truly believes?

In a way, it doesn’t matter. Believers and unbelievers alike are called to examine their lives and ask, “Does my life show any indication of spiritual life?” If the answer is no, we should repent and believe. If the answer is yes, we are to remain in our faith.

After all, the only proof of salvation recognized in Scripture is the presence of the Spirit in a person’s heart and the fruit His presence inevitably produces. After all, God judges the heart perfectly, and when He encounters true faith, He instantly makes good on His promise to send the Holy Spirit. This alone is proof that a person belongs to Christ. This alone guarantees that a person will enjoy all the benefits that come from that relationship. (More on this next week!)

"And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory." (Ephesians 1:13-15)

Of course, I believe parents play a key role in nurturing young faith, just as the apostles did for the early churches. “He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” (I Corinthians 3:6)

So how do we help bring life to the hearts of our children? In the same way the apostles did with their spiritual children: prayerfully, expectantly and conditionally!

Prayerfully: only God can fill our children with spiritual wisdom

"We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints—the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven ...  For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding." (Colossians 1:3-5a; 9-10)

Expectantly: knowing God results in transformation

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." (Colossians 1:11-15)

Conditionally: all who are reconciled to God remain in their faith

"Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation—if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel." (Colossians 1:21-23)

This will not be easy, but the Spirit will empower us! “We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me.” (verses 28-29)

I like that Paul was honest about how hard it is to train God’s people! It is easy to want to give up! Let’s pray for each other that instead, God’s Spirit will use us to draw our children (and us!) to remain in a relationship with our Lord, who loves us and who is glorified as we repent and believe–not just once, but every day!

Our Lesson: Going Home, p318

Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, John 14

Truth about God: Jesus is the living Son of God

Take Home Verse: John 20:31 

“But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.”

Belief Builder: God wants EVERYONE to believe and have life.

Talking Points: 

Kids often listen better when their hands are busy. Eye contact is a learned behavior that we teach children to do to show that they are listening. It isn’t actually necessary for listening, and in some cultures it is considered rude! Consider doing the following with your child AS you talk with them.

Life Before Your Child: 

Try to find some photos, be it in a photo album or on a computer, of you from before they were born. Show them to your child and talk about what your life was like before they came along:
- where did you live at various times in your life? Who were your friends?
- what did you want to be when you grew up? What jobs did you have?
- what made you want to become a parent? What changed about your life after your child arrived?

Talk about how silly it would be if they didn’t believe what you just told them. After all, you were there!
- would be any less true if they didn’t believe you?

Explain that reading the Bible is like sitting down with God and letting Him tell us what life was like before WE ALL were born. Get your Bible and read this week’s Take Home verse.
- everything in the Bible happened a LONG time ago.
- we believe it because it was written down by the people who WERE there.

Your Life Before Jesus: 

If possible, show your child a picture of what you looked like when you began to believe that Jesus was the living Son of God. If not, draw a picture of yourself. Invite your child to draw a picture of a day that was really important to them. As you draw (this can happen on a napkin or any scrap of paper, anywhere you find yourselves together with time to kill):
- Let your child know that you believe what the Bible says about Jesus.
- Tell them how you came to believe that Jesus was the living Son of God.
- Who told you about it? Where were you?
- What was hard for you to believe at first?
- What have you recently learned to believe about Jesus?
- What does your child believe about Jesus?
- What are some things that only the Son of God can do? (forgive sin being the most important for us!)
- Talk about how you believe that only Jesus can forgive sin. We have to believe that to live with Him in Heaven.

Looking Forward to Heaven

For parents to ponder: Perfect is for heaven.

Normally, I like to post on Mondays, but yesterday I was too busy sinning to do my job. Does that scare you? To see that in writing? It shouldn't! What SHOULD scare us is any leader (or parent, or child, or believer) who can't admit sin.

Truth is, I started out with all sorts of less honest opening lines: The day got the better of me; It was just one of those days; It didn't work out. None rang true. And none led to the Gospel. But sin always leads me to the Gospel.

In fact, it is when I find myself face-to-face with my sin (again, still!) that I'm in desperate need of Good News. And thanks to Jesus, that's exactly what I woke up to today! I was reminded again through someone's early morning facebook post that God's mercy is new every morning. And my spirit responded, "AMEN! Thank you, Jesus, for your Grace."

Yet, there is another part of me that really hates Grace. It's the Eve in me: the woman who wants to be Glorious on her own. That woman hates admitting her sin and needing Grace. She wants to be perfect. All the time. She sees a few missed blog posts and wants to go back and make up for lost time rather than just start fresh. (Sorry, Kindergarten parents.) She wants to quit playing Scrabble when it becomes obvious that winning is impossible. (Sorry, Mom.)

It is also the Eve in me that makes me ungracious toward others. She freaks out when yellow poop is tracked through the house, defiling her white tile floor. She wants to scream "I told you so!" while her daughter weeps (loudly) over accidentally cooking two lizards to death in the back yard. She forces her husband to officiate the reptiles' funeral while she nurses a sore back and a grudge after having to do so much extra housework. She takes solace in bleach rather than Jesus. (Yes, that was my day. Ugly.)

I say "she" because that woman is not me. 

"Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. ... What a wretched [woman] I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:20; 24-25)

You know, I had to eat some serious humble pie during our bedtime prayers last night. I had to admit that I can act selfishly. That I can have my very own "Mommy fits" sometimes. But by admitting my sin to my daughter especially, I also got to affirm the Good News: that's not who I really am, and that's not how I really feel. Instantly, she related to my dilemma. She, too, finds herself doing what she does not want to do. And together we could be glad that, one day, God will do for us what He did for Jesus: He will raise us up to everlasting life and put our enemies (ego, temper, immaturity, selfishness, sadness and death) under our feet!

You'd be surprised how comforting it is for a child to see an adult find their hope not in where they are but instead in where they are going. After all, that is the hallmark of childhood–always growing but never arriving. It should not surprise us then, as the children of God, that we are still in process. At the same time, it is a great encouragement that our perfection is as inevitable as our kids' transformation into full-grown adults!

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (1 Peter 1:3-9

Our Lesson: God’s Wonderful Surprise

Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, John 20

Truth about God: Jesus is alive!

Take Home Verse: John 20:29 
Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen me but still have believed.”

Belief Builder: God gave us the Bible so we would know that Jesus is alive!

Talking Points: It may almost seem too basic, but kids need to know that we have good reason to believe that Jesus really is alive. Every promise of our faith hinges on having a living Savior; if Jesus is dead, Paul says, then we are the most pitied of all men! (1 Corinthians 15:17-19)
• Jesus appeared to more than 500 people over a period of weeks, and they have become our eye witnesses. There are many things we believe even though VERY few people have seen them; we are taking the word of other people, or believing what was written down by the people who were there. Here are a few you might point out this week:
- that there is a North Pole; that it is cold
- that the moon has less gravity; if you walk on it, you almost float
- that there are amazing creatures in the deepest parts of the ocean
- that Egyptians built the pyramids
• Talk about how we should treat people who don't believe that Jesus is alive. How did Jesus treat people who didn't believe what He said? (He told us to be like God: show love to everyone! Matt 5:43-48)

Talking to kids about the Gospel

Preparing children to follow Jesus

Parents who truly know what it is to follow Jesus want nothing more than to see their children do the same! And if we could get them to avoid some heartache by learning from our mistakes, that would sweeten the deal. But somehow, all these heartfelt longings do not make it any easier to know how to express the great hope of the Gospel in a way the hearts of our children can grasp.

So what to do? In a word: persist.

No one comes to believe overnight. Instead, we must understand that belief happens much like a child’s growth: in spurts and stages. It is essential that we not make comparisons or assumptions about the future based on where our child is at any given stage. And we must keep looking for creative ways to get the truth across:

“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:4-6

Repetition, repetition, repetition

Nothing about our spiritual growth is linear. Quite the opposite, it is more like a coil that comes round and round the same point, over and over ever expanding as it does.

And that central point is the Gospel. Those foundational concepts lead us not only to our first moment of repentance and faith, but also to every future step of faith! So whether our children are believers or not, they need to hear the Gospel again and again.

And that’s a relief, because it is not always clear whether our children truly believe! We must trust God to lead us in the unclear areas of when to affirm their salvation, when to invite them to be baptized and take communion, when to challenge them to walk in the Spirit. But as we become fluent in the language of the Gospel, we will find ourselves about to talk about it just as the Lord says: in the everyday happenings of life.

Keep it a dialogue!

Educational research tells us that the process of trying to explain an idea to someone helps us understand it better ourselves. So, keep your kids talking and keep this in mind as you do: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” James 1:19-20

Our hearts are so wrapped up in our desire to see our children love and enjoy Jesus the way we do (or better!) that we can become defensive, critical or even angry when a child expresses their unbelief. But truth is planted, not forced, into a heart. Look for tender moments when you can plant the truth in love; ask God to make it grow!

[Jesus] also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.” Mark 4:26-29

Take your time

Avoid giving children of any age a false sense of salvation. Just like physical growth, not everyone grows at the same rate in the same areas. Don’t feel the pressure to rush into a Salvation Prayer. Be careful to distinguish between God’s love and His forgiveness. God’s love is for everyone; His forgiveness is only for those who repent and trust that Jesus’ death paid for their sins. While children feel bad when they sin, it takes time to grasp the concept of trusting in Jesus’ death as a substitute for theirs, let alone have enough sense of time to commit their future lives to Jesus. Of course, if a child ASKS how to be forgiven, TELL THEM. But let the child initiate!

Know your child

It is important to keep your child’s individual development in mind when talking to them about their faith. Know this: every human is born looking for something to put their faith in. As we grow, we try various things: our parents, our teachers, ourselves, our friends, money, status, the list goes on. Our desire as parents is to give our children the truth so they many put their faith in God, who alone is Good. Only God can satisfy the deep longings of their souls. Everything else will fail them. Both before and after a child is saved, a parent’s job is encourage faith in God and to encourage our child turn away from inferior things. We can only do this if we show compassion to our children when something fails them, so they will know we truly care as we remind them that God never fails!

Of course, there are general developmental phases we all go through that affect how we internalize spiritual truth. Very rarely does a person deeply understand a spiritual truth that is beyond their developmental reality. For example, the idea that to God a day is like a thousand years is meaningless to a child who has no concept of time.

Know the basics

Below you will find Salvation Concepts that are both child-friendly and accurate. (Often, in an effort to make a truth simple we can miss the mark of truth.) After that, you will also find some tips to help you teach your children with their developmental stage in mind. Like physical growth, there are ALWAYS exceptions! Trust (and ask!) the Spirit to lead you as you lead your children.

The following Salvation Concepts are foundational. Some can be grasped at very young ages, others require more advanced thinking (cause and effect, time, spatial reasoning, logic). Review these life-giving verses with them; consider memorizing them! Most of these concepts can be grasped by the middle of the elementary years, but none is believed fully in this lifetime. Talk to them whenever YOU have a deeper understanding of one of these truths. Pray earnestly that one day your child will express, in their own way, these concepts to God in a prayer for salvation. Find regular intervals to check in with your child about what they understand and believe so far (sample questions provided after each Scripture reference).

• God, I believe you love me and made me so I could love You, too. (Genesis 1-2; Deuteronomy 6:5) Who made the world? Who made you?

• I have let other things be more important than You and Your Words. (Exodus 20:1-17; Matthew 22:37-39) Who is in charge of everything? Do you always care about God and what He wants? 

• Because I am a sinner, I deserve death and need forgiveness. (Genesis 3, 1 John 1:8-10, Romans 3:23) How many people live the way God wants them to? What do you think God will do about all the people who don’t want to do things His way? Who should be punished? Is it fair that we are punished? Why? Who deserves to go to heaven?
• I believe that Your Son Jesus is the only One who can reconnect me with You. (Acts 4:12, John 14:6) Who did God send into the world? Why?
• I fully trust that You will accept Jesus’s death on the cross as payment for my sin and will keep Your promise to give me eternal life in Heaven. Jesus, please save me from my sin. (Colossians 1:19-23; John 3:16) Did Jesus always care about God? Did Jesus deserve to be punished? How was Jesus like us? How was He different? What bad thing happened to Jesus? Why would Jesus die for us? Is Jesus dead or alive now?
• I want to give up doing things my way and instead live Your way.  (Romans 6:5-14, Galatians 5:16-17) What happens if we live our way? What happens if we live God’s way?
• I trust You to keep your promise to put your Holy Spirit inside my heart. I believe He will make me clean and new on the inside so that I can hear and obey Him as He teaches me how to live the way Jesus did. (Romans 7, Ephesians 3:16-19; Phil 2:5-11) How do we start living God’s way? What do we do when we blow it?
• I believe that one day, after I die, Your Spirit will bring me to live with You in Heaven, where I will be made perfect. I will never want to sin again, and there will be no more sadness, pain or death. (Rev. 21:1-5) Where is Jesus now? What will he do when He comes back again? When will always care about God? When will everything be good again?

Tips for Toddlers & Preschoolers/ Key Concept: God made us; He love us!

As children begin to understand their parents’ love, they can begin to grasp God’s love. This is also a perfect time to tell them that God made them and everything else in the world they are discovering. (See Salvation Concept 1.)

Tips for Kindergarteners / Key Concept: When we don't believe God, we sin.

Kindergarteners have a growing understanding of justice, right, wrong and punishment, so it is a good time to teach them what happens when we don’t believe God–we sin. Help them to also understand that God hates sin because it hurts the people He made and loves. Worse, God has to punish people who sin, when all He really wants to do is love them. That is why God gave us Jesus to take away the world’s sin. (Salvation Concepts 1-4.)

Elementary/ Key Concept: We must believe that Jesus died to pay for OUR sin. 

These are key years for salvation in children, as they begin to believe the rather scary idea that they themselves are sinners in need of a Savior. At this age, they can more readily understand the idea of substitution as well as making a lifelong commitment. And yet, school and community activities often crowd out time to learn about God. Consider using communion as a reminder to talk to your children intentionally about the fundamentals of faith.

• Read and discuss a passage of scripture that will help them grow in their understanding of why sin leads to death. (Genesis 2:16 & 3:1-8; Romans 5:12, Romans 1:18-20, 29-32; Salvation Concept 3) 
• Read and discuss a passage of scripture that will help them grown in their understanding that eternal life is only for people who agree with God that we are sinners and need Jesus to forgive us. (Romans 3:23-26, John 3:16-18, Romans 6:20-23; Salvation Concept 3)
• Talk to your child about what he or she believes about his or her own sin. (This is best done one-on-one.) Be prepared to lead your child through a prayer of salvation; if you aren’t sure how, make an appointment with the Children’s Pastor. (If your child does pray with you, consider making an appointment with the Children’s Pastor, who can talk with you about introducing your child to communion and baptism.)
• Probe lovingly into what they believe about the way they live; challenge them gently as the Spirit leads. Re-focus them on how the death of Jesus gives us life and power in the Spirit, not just to be saved but also to obey. (See Salvation Concepts 6-8.)

Believing Children/ Key Concept: Jesus wants us to examine our hearts 

When explaining salvation (to children especially) we often describe it as one-time decision to ask for forgiveness. Really, it is a lifelong commitment to love and obey Jesus as our Lord, every day until He comes back! This is only possible if we are constantly growing in our understanding of what it means to follow Him. We must teach believing children how to examine their hearts in light of Salvation. Make it a point to regularly ask about their day-to-day relationship with Jesus as Savior and Lord. (You may also consider making an appointment with the Children’s Pastor to talk about introducing your child to baptism and communion.)

Remind your child that believers can know if they are living God’s way by comparing themselves to the Bible.

• Read a passage that will help your child grow in their understanding of God’s way of life. (Ephesians 4, Romans 6, Romans 12, Colossians 3)
• Discuss how God’s way, as described in that passage, is different from what we tend to do.
• Discuss why God’s rules are really for our good. Why makes it hard to obey? What don’t we believe?
• Share what is hard for you and how glad you are that Jesus forgives us when we repent. (1 John 1:8-9)
• Express your joy that one day all this struggle will finally be over when we are made perfect in Heaven.
• Give your child a chance to do the same.