Parenting Often Looks Better On Paper

For Parents to Ponder: What if it all blows up in your face?

This week, I want to encourage all of you that the idea of talking to your kids about their faith sounds a lot more romantic on paper than it sometimes plays out in real life–but it is still worth doing! Last night, Norm and I started our pre-Easter advent by discussing the first of the four Gs: God is Great. We were hoping for a sweet and inspiring moment before bed, kind of a mix between Little House on the Prairie, the Cleavers and a Norman Rockwell painting. What could go wrong when teaching your children the comforting notion that God is in control? 

Within 10 minutes, my daughter was upset (read: loud, screaming sobs) because "that book said something that confused me and made me have bad feelings about God." She was confused about how she could be her own person if God was in control of everything. My son, in a desperate attempt to comfort (read: quiet) his sister, explained that it is like a game of checkers: He doesn't control your decisions, but His moves determine where you can move, and if you jump Him, He's the King, so He can just jump you back. Wow. Deep wisdom for 11 years. Didn't help the 7-year-old. 

So we threw out the book and talked about how when we try to explain God it can be like blind men trying to describe an elephant–all telling the truth but sometimes wrong in their conclusions. (Eg., Just because God is in control doesn't mean we don't have choices.) I urge you again to treat any spiritual book as a BOOK. It is NOT the Bible. Throw it out when necessary. Be prepared that not every word in it is true, and it may draw conclusions that make perfect sense to you, but deeply trouble the heart of your child. (If the world was perfect, why was Satan there? Well, God did not actually say the world was "perfect." He said it was "very good.") 

If your child remains upset (as mine did) despite your attempts to clarify, leave the point of confusion and go back to Jesus. Comfort your child with this: we may not understand everything in the Bible, but God put one thing in it that isn't confusing at all: Jesus proves that God loves us. That's why I love using the Jesus Storybook Bible. It understands that only the Love and Grace of God–expressed to us through Jesus–truly comforts the human heartwhen we come face-to-face with our Great, Good, Glorious God.

Even though it was hard, I thank God for the messy interaction I had with my daughter last night. I rejoice that I could share with her a recent time when I was upset and confused about God. More importantly, now on the other side of my own dark doubts, I could share how the love of God broke through to me and gave me hope. Her hope, too, began to be restored as we recited together a familiar verse: God loved the world so much that He sent His one and only Son, and whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. Even when we do not understand everything, we can believe in Jesus. And that's enough. (Had she not affirmed her belief in Jesus, I would have shared the Gospel in more detail, asking throughout what she believed and expressing what God has helped me to believe. More about that next week.) What a gift it is to disciple our children with the hope God has given us in Christ!

For those of you up for an adventure, below are some things you can talk about with your child about creation as it is presented in the Jesus Storybook Bible:

Our Lesson: The Beginning: A Perfect HomeIn the REAL Bible: Genesis 1-2; Psalm 8 

Note: if you aren't ready to discuss why Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed, skip Gen. 2:24-25. I didn't hit that part in class. :)

Truth about God: God made everything; He made people so He could love them as His own children.
Take Home Verse: Gen. 1:27 “So God created man in his own likeness. He created him in the likeness of God. He created them as male and female."
Belief Builder: When we believe that God made us to be His children, we will begin to understand how much He loves us!

Talking Points (to review the Take Home Verse):

Make something, anything with your child this week: a meal, a lego city, a piece of art, a play doh sculpture. As you do, talk about how incredibly creative God is. Millions of kinds of animals, each one so different! Hundreds of kinds of food! So many colors! Talk about their favorites. What has God made that they are especially thankful for? Affirm something you see in them that you thank God for: their strength, their generosity, their cheerfulness, their honesty. Tell them that only people can use words to speak and sing their praise to God. (Psalm 8 is an example of David praising God, His creator.) Invite your child to sing, say or write their praise to God. "He is SO GREAT!"

Watch an episode of Planet Earth or Blue Planet or any truly majestic nature show. Listen for the science of evolution. Talk about how sad it is that some people do not believe that God made our world. Those people do not realize how much God loves them! Remind them that the reason we believe God made us is because the Bible says it, and the Bible is true. ALL of it! (Bonus: read Psalm 8. It uses the word "majestic" a lot. Look it up in the dictionary and discuss how creation shows us that God is "majestic.") 

May God's word be alive and active in YOUR heart and home this week!

Preparing Your Child to Love God's Word

For Parents to Ponder: How To Use a Storybook Bible

I am a huge fan of a GOOD storybook Bible that weaves the stories of the Bible together in order to help young children (and adults!) see the entire Story of God. One of my favorites is the Jesus Storybook Bible because every story points to Jesus. I especially like how the book handles the Old Testament. believe that on this side of the cross, the Old Testament is best understood when we keep Jesus in mind. This book does an excellent job of that. I want you to notice that I am calling them books, not Bibles. Like any book written by man, it contains errors. Things you may not agree with. Things you can disregard. In fact, I want you to know, there are things I don't like about this (or any other) kids story Bible. However, like training wheels, these books can be an excellent tool, as long as we know how to use them. Also like training wheels, it will require something of you, the parent. I encourage you to set aside some time today to read from your Bible what your children are reading in theirs. 

Here are a few tips for using this book to its fullest potential:

Teach your childiren WHY we read the Bible. 

• The Bible is not a rule book. It contains rules, but they are not the point. PEOPLE and their behavior is NOT the point. GOD and His behavior IS the point. Only the Bible can teach us what to believe about GOD.
• It is not a book of heroes for them to copy. God is the Hero of this story, and we are to copy Him alone. As we believe God, our behavior changes. As you read any story, notice with your child how people's behavior changes depending on what they are believing about God.
• The Bible is God's Story. It is a story of how God loves His children and comes to rescue them. And it is TRUE! 

Teach your childiren WHO to look for in the Bible. 

• Jesus is the central figure of the ENTIRE Bible, and when we know that, we understand it ALL better.

Point them to the REAL Bible. 

• AFTER you read to your child from their book, please show them where it is in the REAL Bible. Under the title of each story in their book, it tells you where to find it in the real Bible. (I found this week's passage, Psalm 19, so inspiring!).

It is also important to know the weaknesses of this kind of book:

• It will misquote/paraphrase God. 

Personally, I don't like that. Whenever I read a quote from a story Bible that is supposed to be what God or Jesus said, I instead say, "It was like God was saying..." I will often go back and read the exact words from the real Bible.

• It will leave out some good stuff. 

BEFORE you read to your child from their book, I strongly encourage you to read it for yourself from the REAL Bible. Then, as you are reading with your child, you will be able to include extra details, depending on their questions/interest level.

• It will add in some inaccurate stuff. 

BEFORE you read to your child from their book, I strongly encourage you to read it on your own first. You may want to leave a sentence or two out. If they ask why, tell them that part is not in the REAL Bible.

In fact, in our lesson we talked a lot about the REAL Bible, and how it is different from any other book: it's words contain the breath and life of God! Below are some ways you can carry on the conversation at home. 

Our Lesson: The Story and the Song (p12)
In the REAL Bible: Psalm 19; Hebrews 1:1-4 

(The links will give you those passages in the New International Reader's Version, much easier for kids to grasp.)

Truth about Jesus: The entire Bible is about Jesus.
Take Home Verse: 2 Ti 3:16 “God has breathed life into all of Scripture."
Belief Builder: When we believe what God says in the Bible, His words fill us with His life.

Talking Points (to review the Take Home Verse):

Whisper, "I love you" on your child's hand throughout the week, or before you read the Bible together. Notice together that they can feel your breath on their hands. That breath proves you are alive. Remind them that the words in the REAL Bible come from God, who is alive. Encourage them that if we listen and believe with our hearts, we will feel God tell us, "I love you!"

Look at a balloon. Notice together that before you blow it up, it is empty and lifeless. That can remind us of two things: words that do not come from God do not contain God's life; people who do not believe God's words do not contain God's life. God gave us His words so we could believe them and be filled up with His life!

By the end of the week, notice that your balloon is deflated. Remind your child that we are like that balloon, but when we start to feel flat or saggy, we don't have to stay that way! We have the Bible, and we can read it again and again. The more we read it and believe it, the more God's words fill us back up again! Some people read it almost everyday! (Kill the word should from your vocabulary. Reading God's word is a privilege, not a chore.)

I hope you have a great week full of God's life and Spirit!

Avoiding the Double Standard

For Parents to Ponder: Do we imitate Jesus? Really?

Strangely, adults often ask children to do what they are unwilling or unable to do themselves. Let's face it. Saying we love Jesus is easy. Imitating Him is hard. That's because He gave up everything to live and die for others. If we imitate Him, we will find ourselves making hard, self-sacrificing choices, too. 

In this week's story, the disciples left everything to follow Jesus. We are called to do the same. We may not leave fishing businesses, but we are all called to give up finding our worth in what we do. We may not leave our homes, but we are all called to give up finding our security in what we have. We may not leave our families, but we are all called to put our relationship with God ahead of any other human relationship. After all, God says to all of us: “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18

The fact is, living like Jesus did makes no sense to the human heart. Unless you really trust that Jesus is God with Us. Then it makes perfect sense. If we believe that Jesus is truly the Son of God, who made us and loves us and came to rescue us from Satan's lies that lead to pain and sorrow and death, we will believe that His way, though very different from ours, is better.

So, what keeps us from imitating Jesus in the hard choices of life? Our hearts don't fully believe yet, so we are afraid. Do we know better? Yes. Does that matter? No.

This is good to remember when addressing the behavior of your children. Deep down, whether your kids obey or disobey, they may be acting out of fear. Some may be trying to earn your love or others' approval. Others may be afraid that if they do the right thing, they will just be miserable. Do they know better? Maybe. Would that matter? No.

So what should we do with a kids behavior? Whether good OR bad, remind them that God loves them, no matter what they do. This is true both for the child who has not yet understood or accepted Jesus' offer of salvation and for the one who has. "We love because God loved us first." (1 John 4:10) This explains both why we love God and why we love others. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is not unconditional. It only comes from true repentance. "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us." Still, "the kindness of God leads you to repentance." (Romans 2:4) Before a child can truly repent and turn toward God, they will need to believe that they are loved unconditionally. Because way, way deep down, they know they can't always obey. And that is terrifying.

Talking Points:

When talking to your child about their behavior, be compassionate! Try something like this:

When you see good behavior, do not tie it to your love.

• I saw what you did, and I am glad you did it. 
• You know that I would have loved you just the same if you hadn't done that, right? 
• Do you feel afraid to say that? Don't be. It will not make your kid a hopeless sinner. They already are one. Instead, it will teach them where to go when they need love and truth.
• Isn't it amazing that God loves you even more than I do?!
• If God doesn't love us more when we do good things, why would we do them?
• LISTEN! Is their answer about performance, or love? Jesus says, If you love me, you will obey my commands." That means, "If you love me, obedience is going to happen." It does not mean, "If you love me, prove it or I won't believe you."

When you see ungodly behavior, do not act like it is okay, but do not use your disapproval to get them to stop.

• I saw what you did, and God's Bible teaches us that if we do that, it will hurt us and others. 
• To teach you not to do that anymore, I am going to (insert consequence here).
• Before your consequence, I want to make sure you know that I love you just as much now as I did before you did that. 
• Even during your consequence, I love you. 
• Even if you are angry at me, I love you. 
• Even if you are not sorry, I still love you. 
• Do you feel afraid to say that? See note above. Don't force kids to say the empty, "I'm sorry." Let the Spirit prompt them. Let your love inspire them. 
• Believe that "the kindness of God leads you (and them!) to repentance."
• Isn't it amazing that God loves you even more than I do?!
• Why do you think you disobeyed?

LISTEN! Is their answer about needing to have things their way? God is most important; when we believe that He loves us and knows better than we do, we can give up our way. About what other people think or were doing? God is most important; when we believe that He loves us, we don't put people's opinions before His. About selfish, needy feelings? God's love is really the thing that our heart needs most; when we believe that, we can give up what we think we need.

Please do not think that because I can write this stuff that I am any good at it. Please pray for me as I pray for you! If God is in control, we do not need to control our kids.

Memory Verses for 7/4/10

1st - 5th - CHANGED
2 Timothy 3:16-17
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Note: I changed this week's memory verse from Joshua 1:8 to 2 Timothy 3:16-17 because while the Old Covenant promised physical prosperity and success in return for obedience, the New Covenant promises spiritual transformation that enables us to be used of God to reach others with the Gospel. Of course, prizes will still be awarded for the other verse!

Pre-K/K - Romans 8:39
Nothing can separate us from the love of God.

Preschool Bible Truth
God's Spirit is with me!

Get the Bible Stuck in Your Kid's Head

Ever had an annoying song stuck in your head? Then you know full well the power of music! Here's a tip from a fellow Creekside parent, Beth Boyum, on how to use music to get the Bible stuck in your kid's head.

"My family discovered this resource about three years ago, and it’s requested daily in the car, listened to during the kids’ downtime – you name it. You can read about it for yourself at www.seedsfamilyworship.net, but basically, it’s straight Scripture put to music, with a nice variety of music. That being said, I am not musically inclined and not up-to-date on current music, so I might not be the right person to “rate” this. Here’s what I know, though: it gets my family – ages 43, 42, 13, 10, 8 and 5 – singing the Word of God, out loud and in our heads throughout our days. We love it."

Now, if you are a music snob like I am, you will want to listen before you buy. I found that you can both listen to samples and buy single songs at amazon.com (see links below). I found several I like, and I'm definitely making a playlist for our upcoming road trip! How about you? Find a song you love? Post your comments and any tips you might have for how to get the Bible stuck in our kids' heads.

Seeds of Faith
Seeds of Praise
Seeds of Purpose
Power of Encouragement
Power of Courage

Great Worship Opportunity for Bridge - No Class 6/27, 7/4

Thanks to the creativity, versatility and talent of our two pastors, Ryan MacDiarmid and Ed Grover, our Bridge students will have a great opportunity to practice what they have been studying in class - worship of God! The order of service will be changed up significantly, with the message broken up by singing, meditation, reading and whatever else our pastors feel led to do!

Because this format is good for our Bridge students' attention span, we have decide to cancel class to allow them to participate in this unique experience with their families. And it really is a great tie-in to class, where our wonderful teacher, Lisa Axley, has been exploring with them how God's creation declares His wonder, majesty and character and calls all of us to worship Him alone.

All of us on the Bridge staff are confident that while 5th and 6th graders benefit greatly from a class designed with their interests in mind, they also need opportunities to join the larger church family. We want each student to know that they are a part of something bigger than themselves, bigger than their family even. If they truly trust Christ, they are part of His Church. That is why I wanted to be sure all of you knew that our Bridge students will be worshiping with their families both on Sunday, June 27 and Sunday, July 4 at either 9 or 10:45 a.m.

Even though this will be a very engaging service, please explain to your child that it is a privilege to join the larger church and that now that they are older, you trust their ability to pay attention. Please encourage them to show their respect for you, for Pastor Ryan and Pastor Ed, for the Church and for God by participating during worship and by actively listening.

Memory Verses for 6/27/10

1st - 5th - John 15:8
This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Pre-K/K - Romans 8:39
Nothing can separate us from the love of God.

Preschool Bible Truth
I will be glad!